If you ever get that warm fuzzy feeling from someone you just met, it is quite likely that this person is an ISFJ. These individuals are abundant in showering praises and support and if you want to be a friend, you will have to fight your way. But once you have successfully made your way into the inner friend circle of this person, you can be assured they will stick up for you at all costs. They are not called The Defender Personality for no reason.
Their empathetic and caring nature draws all other personality types to them. The remarkable trait that leaves everyone in awe is their generous and caring nature. For this reason, ISJF personalities are popular as friends. Even though they are an introverted personality, they will make everyone feel at home.
Friendship with an ISFJ
It is not easy to get into the ‘close friends’ circle of The Defender Personality type. They do not allow people to break their walls easily. The ISFJ individual will take a cautious approach to understanding people before making decisions. So, to be an ISFJ friend, you will have to invest time and stay patient. ISFJ tends to require many interactions before they can call you as a friend.
ISFJ can be befriended easily because of their nature. People are naturally attracted to them but if you want to be considered a friend in return, it is not an overnight journey. Besides, The Defender Personality will observe you over time to see if you are worthy of being friends. You cannot get their attention by asking them to join you on a night-long drinking party. Rather, a simple gathering of people where meaningful conversations can happen is the way to win the trust of an ISFJ.
Despite naturally being a person who stimulates conversations, the ISFJ individual will not indulge too much in their own life. There are two reasons for this. The first is that because of their supportive and caring nature, others tend to exploit them and emotionally drain them. The other is that The Defender Personality is a sensitive one and is likely to get hurt by opening up. Therefore, The Defender Personality does not allow any random person to break their shell. Only the ones who mean business will take the effort, get to know them and stay till they come out of their shell to embrace a lifelong friendship.
How to Befriend an ISFJ
Consider this scenario. A friend is throwing a house party where there’s going to be food, some nice and mild music, some refreshments a bunch of people who love talking and discussing things. This is the ideal party location for an ISFJ and the place where you can prove to The Defender Personality that you are worthy of being their friend.
But why would someone take so much effort in the first place? It is because an ISFJ is worth keeping. Furthermore, if you ever need someone to vent, this is the personality type you need to run to. Don’t forget that everything is safe with them so you need not worry about being cautious.
The Defender Personality takes serious note of the quality of conversations. For this reason, you are rarely likely to find them in a crowded and noisy pub. Instead, it is more likely you can find them in serene, calm areas. You will have to prove that you are capable of talking deep and keeping bonds that last long. An ISFJ is not looking for short-term friendships.
What an ISFJ friend will do
As a friend, they will be ready to sacrifice many things for you. Once you have crossed into the friend circle of an ISFJ, you can be assured you’re in for a treat. The Defender Personality values friends to the extent that they would do anything for them. Because of this, they can even go to the point of neglecting their own needs in order to support and help someone else.
The Defender Personality will stay loyal till the end and that makes them the perfect catch when you need emotional support. This personality type will allow you to express yourself freely and be of help at the right places. Metaphorically, they will stay by you and catch you every time you fall.
It is this reason that the ISFJ will take their own sweet time in figuring out who are the right people to befriend. Once they’ve made up their mind, they will go to any lengths to ensure the other person is comfortable. Never will they make someone else feel neglected, unwanted, unhappy or disappointed. Hence, no matter what their own feelings, they will sacrifice it for the sake of boosting the spirit of their friend.
How to be a good friend to an ISFJ
The Defender Personality is a vulnerable one. They seek reassurance and confidence from those whom they choose to make friends. They will not admit it, but deep down, they have vulnerabilities they do not want to express. It is for others to find and address this. So, one good way to truly be a friend to an ISFJ is to give them positive feedback.
To stay a friend, The Defender Personality type demands that their friends also support them back and advise them when needed. People who are of the ISFJ type have a trait that can be both a good and a bad point. They tend to even go out of their way for minute commitments. The friendships they forge are the most important and so they will work to keep it healthy and alive.
One area where this personality trait has a tough time is in denying things. Because of their caring nature, they find it difficult to turn down requests. They prioritise friendship above all. So the ISFJ personality would agree to a request he or she dislikes. This option seems better than saying no and creating tiny rifts in the bond. Unfortunately, the burden of the friendship seems to tilt in their scale slightly.
Some people might consider these traits of the ISFJ personality as ways to misuse and take advantage of. Given the generous nature of The Defender Personality, they will rarely ask the other person to back down. Instead, they will continue to do the good they think is right while keeping up the friendship.
Burnout is a serious problem that some may encounter. Overindulging friends without caring about their own needs can be a problem for them in some way or the other. If the ISFJ personality is constantly facing burnout, there are high chances the friendship will suffer and sever.
Traits of The Defender Personality
The ISFJ personality is highly emotional and also emotionally intelligent. In a group of friends, they know just how to drive conversations. That person you meet at a party who is always helping others to the food and drinks? That is an ISFJ personality.
Although The Defender Personality people mingle with everyone, in most cases, they become friends with people who have similar personalities. This is because ISFJ people are averse to quarrels and do not want a miscommunication to come in the middle. So, unintentionally, they end up with people who are like them. Their shy and protective nature rules their decisions. Keep their emotional well being as your priority as a good friend to an ISFJ.