ISFJs are born parents. Parenting comes naturally to them because of their warm and caring nature. While others may have to learn parenting, they easily take it into their stride. They are very protective of their children and want to ensure that their kids get the best environment. ISFJs focus on raising their kids right.
ISFJ Raising Kids
ISFJs ensure that they create an environment that is loving, caring and homely for their children. They want to give their children perfect lives. When it comes to parenting skills, they are the best of the personalities.
However, sometimes, children tend to oversee the love that their ISFJ parents have. Instead, they seek more independence from the excess love they receive. While the parents have good intentions, the children may feel the parents are controlling them. This is an aspect that defender parents need to remember. The way to avoid this is to keep a check on how much are the parents controlling the lives of the children.
The other way this could go is when children turn out overly dependent on the parents. ISFJ parents will not realise this until the children have grown up in their late teens or early youth. This could lead to children neglecting their independence and relying entirely on the parents for support.
Children of ISFJ parent/s may not realise it earlier in life, but they have got the best deal. Their parents have raised them in environments where they have taken care of everything for them.
However, despite the tough stance, an ISFJ will find it difficult to discipline or punish their children using harsh means. Their soft nature makes it difficult for them to refuse something. They also get actual physical pain in punishing their children, especially when using harsh means. This leads to ignoring of problems because of the sweet nature of the ISFJ. They are unable to address tough issues with their children for fear of making them unhappy.
ISFJ Home Management Style
ISFJ personalities are disciplined and so their homes tend to be orderly. They seek order at home not just in terms of the look but also behavior. They also tend to require that everyone sticks to gender norms and roles. If the father and mother are portraying their respective roles, ISFJs will want their children to also adhere to their own.
If anything goes wrong in the lives of their children or their well-organized home, the ISFJ is most likely going to blame himself. They take their roles as parents seriously. So, any mishap would mean a failure on their part of being good parents.
The ISFJ mother will take on an active role in the household. She will realize that she must protect, nurture and raise her kids the right way. She will create a routine and secure household. Her gentle and compassionate nature will always seek to ease the worries of her children. Whenever the kids have something bothering them, the mother will take their feelings into consideration. But here she may have a problem in telling them the truth for fear of hurting their feelings.
She is practical and ensures that things are done right and are well-structured. ISFJ mothers love being mothers and so they savor each day they get with their children. This personality type of mother thinks it is up to them to be the right role models to their children.
As is the nature of an ISFJ, the mother will look after the children even if it means giving up something for herself or neglecting it. Since she is so devoted to her duties to the house and her children, she does not find time for herself. They need constant reassurance that they are doing a good job as a parent. If they don’t get the reassurance, the mother may feel depressed or that she isn’t doing her duty correctly.
ISFJ fathers have an intimate relationship with their kids. They are very attached to them and keep replaying the best moments of each day in their minds. The fathers speak to their children in such a way that they feel encouraged to open up to them.
They will spend some time with the children in the evening after returning from work. ISFJs are disciplined in their life and look to create set patterns such as family time every evening or movie night every weekend.
Just like the mothers, the fathers also have a tough time in disciplining children. They are unable to scold their children and this aspect can frustrate them. Instead, they may become extra difficult with their kids. This extreme nature bothers them and they are constantly trying to find a balance.
The ISFJ father is the one who puts the kids’ needs first. So, they will be there for important functions of their children such as a recitation or a game. They will be supportive of whatever activities the children undertake.
ISFJ Parenting Style
This personality type finds parenting the easiest because of the synergy in their own personal qualities and values and the ones needed in parenting. It’s no wonder that they are called the ideal parents. However, even they can learn to be better parents, especially when refusing something. Defenders have a hard time in saying no and kids can manipulate this. Here, they need to learn to be strong and stick to their word.
Their warm and empathetic nature makes them sensitive to their children’s needs. They are also highly engaged with their children. Since they want the best for their children, they tend to draw out timetables for their lives. This could make them feel suffocated at times, without the ISFJ parent realizing.
ISFJs combine their emotional intelligence with the value they give to responsibility to look after children. Even though ISFJ parents will put in a lot of effort into raising their kids, they will rarely take the credit for it. The children who do grow up right will remember all that their parents did for them.
ISFJ Parent Problems
ISFJs yearn for their kids to be good human beings, and if for any reason, they turn into rebels, this can cause them pain. In this case, the parent’s loving nature comes across as overbearing. At such times, ISFJs can do well to have a chat with their children to make them realize that they have their best interests at heart.
They also do not like it when someone dismisses their problem or concern, especially children. If children hurt the feelings of their ISFJ parents, they will most likely bottle it up and not speak about it. Conflict with near ones, including children, can actually cause them physical pain such as headaches, insomnia and stomach upset. The idea isn’t the conflict as much as the fact that there are people and their feelings involved.
Overall, if you have ISFJ parents, you are blessed, and if you are an ISFJ parent, your kids will grow up good. But learn to take it a notch down and cut down on taking everything so personally. Let the kids grow. They will see the support, love and affection that you’re constantly showering on them.